Keep Your Dad Away From Me

I have always joked about getting a sugar daddy. It seems like a great idea; some older gentleman wants to spoil me and upgrade my life experiences AND give me money for existing. A bop. But I have spoken a curse over my life. A curse of broke men who are old enough to be my father share way too much information and cross the very clear boundaries I have set.

My most recent encounter with one of these wannabe Splenda daddies occurred at my job. I'm currently working part time cashier job at a home improvement store and the men that I have met are as bold as they smell sometimes. I am a naturally friendly person and have to bump that up a little bit more for work to help drive credit applications (I am a cog in the capitalist machine, I know).

So I'm standing there minding my business and this older man begins asking me questions while he's checking out. This is nothing new and it was also pretty normal for him to talk a little while after his purchase. No biggie. We were talking about my impending graduation (my Cash App is $daddydark0 if anyone wants to bless the kid) and Burger King's veggie burgers. I get waved off to go take my break and ended the conversation with a smile and cheerful goodbye.

SO TELL ME WHY THIS OLD MAN FOLLOWED ME TO THE BACK OF THE STORE. Also why is the break room all the way in the back? My weak 15 minute break is usually chipped away at by customers stopping me and now I have to worry about men following me trying to get my number?? The nerve. The audacity. He said he was 38 so THE LIES. He was a smooth 50 and thought I wanted his discount Montel Williams looking ass. I am insulted.


Let’s get one thing clear: I am a nice person but at work I am being paid to be nice to you. I would not engage in a coversation with some of these men outside of that space so don’t get it twisted when I smile and speak to you. Like damn, is that all it takes for you to think someone is interested in you?

​Men, please chill tf out and think about how creepy you come off when you follow someone around. The sam e corny old men who claim to be so worried about being “victims” of the #MeToo movement are the same ones making women feel unsafe. Make it make sense and do better.

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​xoxo, Dominique

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